Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I hate most Women and Girls in Connecticut New Haven to be more specific

Why do females act like they are too good for me? I've only had a few sexual counters in my life and none of them were good and they were all with women so don't get it twisted I'm not gay or homo. I never had one girlfriend. In middle school I had one girlfriend but I never hung out with her out of school or in school so she doesn't count. Dam is it because I'm light skinned I turn dark bronze when I get a tan I mean dam. I use to feel confident about myself until I started getting rejected by thousands of women. I use to be scared to talk to girls that's why I never use to approach them at first but, I always kind of figured that if I talk to at least 10 girls one of them will say yes but my luck is anything but that but, at the same time in a sense I'm not surprised that I can't get woman around here to like me. I always knew that my personality isn't mean but at the same time I'm not the same as everyone else. I know it's not because of my looks because a lot of woman tell me that I'm not ugly and get surprised that I don't have a girl friend but the funny things is they would never go on a date with me themselves but they are surprised. I talk to thousands of girls and I get lucky if one of them is interested. For the most part I quit trying to talk to women but today I just had to try. This girl acted like she couldn't even tell me her name. I went home mad wanting to cause harm to something. What society must understand is People aren't born crazy Society makes people turn crazy. Perhaps I'm crazy I don't know but personally most normal people can be labeled as crazy dumb or slow it depends on your definition of either term. I've been called slow and I've been called super smart. When I was 17 I took a test to see where my IQ was at but this was when I lived down south because i got extremely bad grades I was depressed. Well anyways during the test I was asked a bunch of things a lot of what I was asked were irrelevant stuff that can't really determine your IQ. Now don't get me wrong I'm God fearing but the most irrelevant question they asked me during this test was "what's the last book of the bible?" which I knew but I got nervous during the test and forgot it. To cut a long story short they labeled me as being special needs so when I returned back to Connecticut I couldn't even return back to the Alternative school that I had honors at. Let me get back on subject though but speaking of living down south the women down there liked me more. I wanna go back now. I wanted to back to Connecticut so bad when I lived in North Carolina.You see life in Connecticut wasn't always like this for me. Before I moved to North Carolina life had finally gotten good for me but my mother had to move me down south and as I got older i realized it was for selfish reasons. She had a hard time telling my father who she's divorced with no and to leave her alone. My father isn't abusive but he's a player type. In the beginning I put up a strong fight and I almost won but I gave in to my mothers Mental castration.I should have never felt for her stupid ass guilt trip she ruined my life I haven't been the same since I moved down there. I was starting to find myself as a man. My mother tried too hard to keep me off the street yes I said she tried too hard. When you raise your kid and he turns into a teen you have to let him find his way. My mother tried to control me to make herself feel better and in the midst of that she mentally castrated me. I use to be an All American looking light brown skinned male that use to workout heavy and stay disciplined in doing what I believed was right by any means. I loved myself even though my friends use to get a lot of women coming up to them and I never use to get any women coming up to me. The funny thing is my body was ten more times in shape then any of my friends and my pecks were like nothing you ever seen on a 16 or 17 year old boy.My life was starting to get better I had just gotten honors for the first marking period but all my mother wanted to bring up was the year before that when I was at a in Hamden High Public school and I had miserably low failing grades.I should have just stayed down south when I moved there because the funny thing about black women down there is they look better and they have less of an attitude. I literally had females coming up to me but my self-esteem was sort of low and humble I thought they were playing with me because I didn't know any better. In Connecticut you can have a female start a conversation with you and walk with you all the way home and still not get anywhere or she tells you that she's not interested. I once had a female stair me down then as she walked pass me she said I wasn't looking at you because I want to get with you I'm just looking at you just to look. I can't even count how many females have said ewww to the thought of me. I realize I came back for nothing. I love my friends and the people I grew up with but they aren't gonna have my kids and they can't reproduce. I need a woman. This entry is long because I'm mad today I had a lot on my mind. Why are women repulsed by me?Please leave me a comment good or bad let me know what you think.

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