Sexually Frustrated journal entry on July 8 2015

Dear people I'm so stressed and depressed about my love life that i can't eat. I have some split peas cooking in the background just in case I regain my appetite but I doubt it will return but I think it will be a water fasting day for me, I don't want to get anymore jittery. All I want is a descent girl that at least looks like she's in good physical shape I don't care about how a females face looks. Maybe I'm shallow for that but it depends on your definition, the way I see it is since females have the right to have every standard in the world to keep men from making the cut and some have very large list's I should be able to have my standards too.
 Today all I did was ask some lady a question and she got super defensive with me and it was like she didn't care if she offended me or not and she was trying to play me. I asked her if her phone was a t-mobile so she took her ear phones off then looked at me and looked around as she got up to sit in another seat. All the meanwhile she's looking back and fourth at me and didn't even answer my question. I had to raise my voice as she sat in the seat in front of me for her to hear me and then she finally answered me and to the average person her voice might not have sounded too harsh but no I heard something in her voice that kind of reminded me of a female lion trying to protect her babies from a male lion planning to eat her cubs. That made me feel real low, I wasn't necessarily trying to hit on her but I just felt compelled to speak to her because she kept sitting next to me even though their were plenty of seats open on the bus. After she moved to a seat that was in front of me she moved even further then to some seats across from that. I felt worthless after that. Well I continued on my bus ride to pick up my groceries and was trying to hurry home after takes quite awhile but by time I got on the second bus going home and we get in between the third and second bus stop I seen  this beautiful brown skinned girl sitting with her friend as she kicked her bare feet up and put them on the chair in front of her with, she had shorts on that were low enough to see how fine her legs were as she was sitting outside in broad day light. To somebody else that might not be a big deal but to me this was so hot especially since I'm turned on by women who have smooth feet with nice arches. I just had to get off the bus and get a closer look even with my groceries in hand. I walked past her once but by time I got there from the bus stop she took her feet off the chair. So I walk down the street and waited for a certain amount of time then I turned around and walked past her. She looked so good to me I almost wanted to say she was Jamaican and her legs were smooth all the way to her bunny rabbit arched looking feet that were so smooth and gorgeous. So I went back to get a closer look and this time her feet were back on the chair so I got a good look at those nice smooth arches of hers. Her whole leg was so smooth all the way down to the feet. This shit made me mad because she looks like she's in college and if I was to try to approach her she would probably call me too old because I haven't shaved in weeks. I know what your thinking of course you are going to get turned down if you don't shave but check this out, I use to shave and get rejected by women left and right but to tell you the truth I didn't shave on the day that I met the last girl I was sexually intimate with back in 2008 around the time of the Olympics in Beijing and in fact I can swear my mother was telling me that I needed to shave that day and to tell you the truth I almost got laid the following year in 2009 wearing the same clothes and a beard that I can swear was a bit scruffy as I met a girl who was ready to go with me where ever I went but there were a few problems. I had no place to bring her and I smelled ripe that day so if I were to have taken my clothes off I could have made her stomach turn, I didn't count on her trying to hang out with me I just wanted her phone number. So I don't know what to expect with women when it comes to attracting them but at the same time I can read them like a book in certain situations depending on what it is. Well back to telling the story of the female I seen with her feet out in front her, I walked by her this time as she put her feet on the chair and I stared boldly looking at her feet and didn't care who seen me and her friend was with her too and had a better view of me as I walk by surprisingly they didn't care I didn't give a hoot, the girls didn't care that I was staring so strongly at her feet if they did they probably would have thought it was creepy but I don't care it's a free country and since she was showing them I'm going to look I didn't touch anybody and if she wants to label me a creep fine I doubt I'll see her again. There have been so many times that I've seen a particular Yale student and would hope to run into her again but it doesn't happen.
 I keep on saying that I'm going to be back blogging up here for good then I end up going lost for long periods of time but if enough people show me that they like to read my blog by leaving me comments or messaging me on you tube and if it's lucrative for me etc I will be up here more often typing about my love life especially this summer because the girls out here are really cranking up my sex drive and this blogging is like therapy. If anything sometimes you don't see me typing about my love life because in the winter months it doesn't affect me being alone as much but when the summer comes around and all the girls are wearing skimpy attire or wearing clothes that show their legs and feet  that's when my sex drive starts going crazy, I would be caught red handed if i was in a Jacuzzi with  women who look good in bathing suits . I don't know how long females think they can keep on turning guys on then turning us down. I predict just by looking around that more and more men are going to do things in response to the strong holds women have over relationships some will do things in a legal manner and some will do things in a illegal manner, some men will probably even go along and be apart of the homo sexual agenda that the media is trying to push I mean we all know that when some men can't get attractive women they consider messing with transvestites and gay men to to make up for what they can't get just look at the prison system. I personally wouldn't follow any of these alternatives except the honorable legal manner but I have seen guys take the negative roads I mentioned. I don't condone of any of the negative or homosexual acts that it encourages but I do want the women of western societies to see everything they helped to produce. The strong hold that women have on the dating scene isn't a physical strong hold but like a systematic strong hold where they have all the power to decide whether a man gets a female that he's the least bit attracted to or not and they act irresponsible with this power that's why it's hard to confront it I mean what am I supposed to tell my teacher when i'm coming to class late or my boss when I'm late to work or just not performing like myself, that i'm so horny I can't even think straight and I get depressed every time I see an attractive woman because I know that I can't get them based on the numerous times I've been turned down? Sometimes when women think I'm laughing with them as they continue to live their barbie world fantasy. I'm laughing at them because they ignorantly play and underestimate Male Sex energy, it's going to blow up in their face and all I have to do is sit back and watch. Every time one man takes his Youtube video's down for fear of embarrassment two or three more men post video's. This whole thing will never stop I even know a man that talks about the same problems with women that we talk about on Youtube and he hardly uses the computer and when he does it's not to watch men on Youtube talk about female problems so he doesn't know anything about your Mgtows or your True Forced Loneliness all he knows is experience yet he has the same arguments that men online have so you already know that this isn't some problem that's being perpetuated by online bloggers if anything it's a problem that's being validated by online bloggers. Before I got on Youtube I use to have a lot of the same point of views as men up here but I didn't have a lot of people to co sign it because most men in my everyday life are too proud to admit to it and the guys who get laid just simply don't have this problem so many times this subject get suppressed but I think it's going to boil over eventually   I'll go deeper into this issue in another blog post and remember the more you post comments and get interactive with my blog the more consistent I'll be so if you like this post leave me a comment.